Monday, March 22, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Tell Her Off
Could society evolve? I guess not. Although people tend to believe that we’re improving our habits and going somewhere, I don’t feel it, at all. I had the weirdest day. Then again, when you’re dealing with me, nothing is always a “normal” situation. And then again, my “normal” is your “weird”, and that’s how it seems to work in my world.
I’m a simple girl. A bit overly-extroverted and all over the place, and craving a lot, but simple, and taking everything as they come. And yet the weirdest things keep happening to me. (I guess it’s because I take everything as they come..) I woke up early, which is very unusual of me during spring break. I promised my brother the days before that I would attend the music festival he was performing in, and this was a promise I had to keep. I knew it meant the world to him, therefore, it meant as much to me, and today was the day I’d keep that promise. As soon as my sister and I were ready, we left. We left about 30 minutes earlier then we normally would, just to be sure we got to the place on time if not before, to be sure we’d be seated right before his class went on. It took us about an hour to get there (from the South Shore to Vanier College) and once we reached their, our initiative was to ask the security guard where the room A-250 was, and if it was clearly the room where the Mgr-A-Parent high-school was performing. He said it was, but to access this particular room, we had to make our way into the Auditorium. After giving us the directions, me and my sister quickly made our way there. We reached the place, went inside and took our seats, but before the band could begin to play, I scanned the whole set. “This is not my brother’s class”. Me and my sister instantly got up, a little pissed that we may have been fooled by the guard. We exited the auditorium and asked the students who were helping out if that was really room A-250. They told us no, and also included that the guard led us astray… and that the room where he was standing was the A-250 we were looking for. With no time to waste, me and my sister ran up the flight of stairs, four by four, until we reached the starting point. Standing there was the security guard, and damn did he piss me off. People rarely see me mad. In fact, people usually remember me as the bright one, the optimistic, the “funny person” of the group. If you make me mad though, you better watch yourself.. The security guard stood there, and after asking us if he could let us in, he quickly replied: “No, you’re late, you can’t get in.” We explained to him that we were here on time, even before the time, but when we asked him for the room he was guarding, he directed us to a different place. We told him calmly, but not wanting to accept his mistake, he kept repeating that we couldn’t go in. “Is it Mgr-A-Parent that is about to perform?” “Yes” “Well they are who we came here to see, could we go in?” “No” “But this is room A-250, right?” “Yes.” “Why did you tell us something else the first time we asked you? And we can’t go in?” “No.” “Why?” “You’re late” This frustrated me. We basically couldn’t watch my brother’s performance because we were “late” because this security guard didn’t know what he was doing. Of course, it was too early in the morning for me to take this in, and I was frustrated, very frustrated. First: because he didn’t want to admit he made a mistake, and correct it. And two: It looked like I was breaking a promise I made to my younger sibling, who was really looking forward to having us finally assist one of his shows. I repeated the whole scenario to him, trying to see if he could understand where I was coming from, why I wanted to get in. It would have been a different story if I was actually late… but I was not. He then called another security guard to talk to me, no longer knowing what to apply. Why couldn’t he just assume himself, be a fuckin’ man and correct his fault? Why did he have to be such a fuckin’ jerk? It could have been avoided.. The other security guard asked me what was going on. I explained. Everything. He didn’t understand. And he repeated the same thing as the other. And it frustrated me. I felt my blood pumping heavily into my veins, my breath seemed to grow louder, my heart was speeding up. How could people be so…stupid? What was so hard to comprehend? He gave me the wrong directions, causing me to be “late”. And he wouldn’t let me in. And I just wanted to see that one show. For 15 minutes. Or less. And that’s all. Nothing more. The guard told me to calm down. Calm down? So he’s pushing it. Telling me to calm down? I wanted him to listen. To understand. To make sense. Did he even listen to a word I said? “Calm down, madame. Calm down or else I’m going to call the cops.” “Call the cops? Do it! I don’t care! I’ll tell them what happened!” “I’m gonna call the cops!” “Then do it! I don’t care, I just don’t understand why I can’t see my brother perform!” “I understand how you feel, but I won’t let you in.” He understood how I felt? How I felt? What the fuck? Are you serious? He was trying to empathize with me? Are you fuckin’ serious? “You don’t understand how I feel! You’re here! You’re here and you’re not breaking a promise. You’re not the one who wants to go inside, and can’t ’cause you won’t cooperate. You could go in anytime you want and I’m here.” “Calm down lady, ’cause I’ll call the cops!” The cops again. Bring the cops, the whole patrol, the army for God’s sake. Do as you please. It doesn’t affect me. In fact, it’s pointless. I’m not threatening you or harming you. I’m not hurting anybody or disrupting the place. I’m just asking questions and not getting answers. And I want my fuckin’ answers. To top it off, he followed me as I went to take a seat and a breather, and placed his hand on me. He had to touch me. You can’t touch me when I’m mad. You just can’t, and he did. I shrugged, and moved myself away. “Don’t you dare touch me, and don’t you look at me like that, or talk to me. If you want me to calm down, leave me alone.” Frustrated, very frustrated. I didn’t understand how something so simple turned into such a big mess. Well, he let us in… when it was over. And as I stepped in that room for those 60 seconds, I saw the frown on my brothers face, and the glare he gave me meaning: “You promised.” And all I could say was: “I’m sorry.”
And this was only morning.
I thought homophobia was a dying trend. I guess not. And I didn’t know that having girl friends automatically made you gay. Apparently it does. Subway station. Subway train. I’m accompanying back one of my girl friends to her school before I set off on a different path. You know, just to be a good friend. We walk in, talking, as usual, like anybody else, walk inside the train and take a seat. We make ourselves comfortable, put down our heavy purses and as I turn to her side to continue our conversation, through my peripherals, I catch someone glaring. It’s an older man, probably in his 40s, messy and angry, glaring at me, then at my friend, then back at me again. Whenever I catch someone staring, I usually stare back to make them feel uncomfortable, and it usually works. Not this time. We crossed eyes and he wouldn’t look away, but neither would I. Finally, he asked why I was staring. And I asked the same of him. Without even hesitating he shot out “I’m not the one who’s a fuckin’ stupid lesbian! Fuckin’ lesbian!!” Excuse me? First off, where did that come from? Is it written gay all over my face? And next, why should it matter to you? It’s my life. I’m not making out in your face or doing anything a straight couple wouldn’t do.. and she’s a friend. A girl can’t have any friends? Well, it’s pointless fighting back. People don’t want to accept things they did not grow up with, and arguing won’t make things any better. In fact, it usually makes things worst. I smirked then laughed, and finally added: “Suite yourself, it’s your choice.” He was very angry. He banged on the Subway doors and even spat on the train floor, constantly glaring at me and saying heinous words.. People are so angry these days, and for no good reason.. It almost saddens me.
So that was my Thursday. I almost had the cops on my back and I was called a “stupid lesbian”. How was your Thursday?
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Mississippi is still burning
Associated Press photo
Lesbian high-school student Constance McMillen was told by her rural Mississippi high-school officials that she could neither wear a tuxedo nor bring her girlfriend to her prom — which the officials then canceled altogether because of her insistence that she be allowed to attend with her girlfriend, wearing what she wishes to wear. It wasn’t that long ago that mixed-race dancing was prohibited at red-state high-school proms, and the same “arguments” that were used to justify racial discrimination are now used to justify discrimination based upon sexual orientation — not only in Mississippi but even in the U.S. military, as the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy is debated even though it clearly violates the principles of the U.S. Constitution.
If you have read me for any time at all, you know that there is a lot that I fucking hate.
I hate the U.S. military. Not the individual members of the U.S. military, necessarily, but the whole damn idea of the U.S. military, with its might-makes-right, jingoistic bent. The majority of those in the military call themselves devout Christians, too, as though Jesus Christ would have had anything to do with their killing for the expansion and preservation of the American Empire in the names of freedom and democracy — and even in the name of Jesus Christ.
Yet, as much as I never would have joined the U.S. military, opposing pretty much all that it stands for (patriarchy, violence and aggression, jingoism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, etc., etc.), I have a real fucking problem with the fact that non-heterosexuals don’t have equal human and civil rights in the U.S. military, that they can be expelled from the military or prevented from joining the military for solely who and what they are.
I never went to my high school prom, either. Not so much because I’m gay and because in the red state of Arizona in the mid-1980s there was no way in hell that I had the opportunity to go to my high-school prom with another male, but because I hate the whole concept of proms, too. I find them to be pretentious wastes of money, relics from the past.
But the idea that high-school officials in Missifuckingssippi canceled the high school’s prom because a lesbian student wants to attend prom with her girlfriend boils my blue-state blood.
Reports The Associated Press:
School officials in a rural Mississippi county told a lesbian student to get “guys” to take her and her girlfriend to a high school prom and warned the girls against slow dancing with each other because that could “push people’s buttons,” according to documents filed [today] in federal court.
The American Civil Liberties Union is suing the Itawamba County School District and some officials at Itawamba Agricultural High School on behalf of Constance McMillen, 18, who wanted to escort her girlfriend to the prom and wear a tuxedo. A hearing is scheduled for Monday to hear an ACLU motion that seeks to force the district to hold the April 2 prom it canceled after McMillen made her requests.
In the court documents, McMillen said Rick Mitchell, the assistant principal at the school, told her she could not attend the prom with her girlfriend but they could go with “guys.”
Superintendent Teresa McNeece told the teen that the girls should attend the prom separately, had to wear dresses and couldn’t slow dance with each other because that could “push people’s buttons,” according to court documents.
The school district last week said it wouldn’t host the prom “due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events.” District officials said they hoped private citizens would sponsor a dance. The decision came on the same day the ACLU asked the district to act on McMillen’s prom requests.
McMillen said she approached school officials weeks ago about wanting to take her girlfriend to the prom.
“I want my prom experience to be the same as all of the other students, a night to remember with the person I’m dating,” McMillen said.
The district, located in northern Mississippi near the Alabama state line, prohibits same-sex dates at the prom. The ACLU has said that violates the rights of gay and lesbian students.
The school district had not responded to the ACLU filing by [this] afternoon.
Christine Sun, a senior counsel with the ACLU’s national gay rights project, said the organization is determined to put the prom back on the school calendar.
Fulton Mayor Paul Walker said he has heard that parents are making plans for a private dance but he didn’t know the details. It’s unclear if gay couples would be welcome at that event….
Shit like this makes me wonder why in the hell the blue states didn’t just allow the red states to secede way back in the day of Abe. Then I remind myself that the oppressed peoples of the red states, without the help of those of the blue states, would be completely at the mercy of the mouth-breathing fucktards who dominate the red states. It’s not right to allow that to happen, it seems to me.
Equal human and civil rights — liberty and justice for all – just don’t grow naturally in the red states. They have to be forced upon the red states from without. It’s too bad that that is so, but it is the red states’ fault — for all of their talk of the founding fathers, for fuck’s sake – for their absolute refusal to live up to the American ideal that every0ne is created equal and that everyone has the inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Two female students or two male students dancing at prom together would “push people’s buttons.” Oh, boo fucking hoo.
Was not the very same argument made to outlaw mixed-race dancing at red-state high-school proms past? Or to disallow non-white students to attend prom at all?
And the prom was canceled ”due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events”? Or was the prom canceled because the high school officials are a bunch of fucking homophobes and/or fucking cowards?
“Due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events” — that is what you call blaming the victim, in this case the lesbian student who just wants the equal human and civil rights to which she is entitled by the founding documents of the United States of America, including the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence (which, I understand, are being rewritten for the Texas textbooks…).
Goddess bless the ACLU.
If a good number of high-school students truly do have a problem seeing same-sex couples at their schools’ dances, that’s probably because they just never see it. What you never see can feel and seem quite alien.
But it’s fucking circular: Same-sex dancing at high-school proms is rarely or never seen at most high schools, and so it’s taboo, and because it’s taboo, it is banned at many if not most high schools, and because it is banned, it is never seen, and because it is never seen, it remains taboo.
Constance McMillen is brave; she is a sort of Rosa Parks for 2010.
I love her balls.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Washington State House and Senate UNANIMOUSLY Pass Anti-Bullying Bill
Anti-bullying legislation passed the Washington State House (97-0) and Senate (48-0) last week that includes protections for LGBTQ Youth in public schools. Governor Christine Gregoire has already vowed to sign the bill as soon as it crosses her desk.
This legislation will create state-wide policies regarding bullying and harassment which will be required to be published online, as well as a staff position in every school responsible for handling all complaints of bullying and harassment.
Josh Friedes, advocacy director of Equal Rights Washington said in a statement, “Today let us celebrate the leadership of Representative Marko Liias who championed this legislation, the commitment of the legislature to ensuring that every student enjoys a safe learning environment and the ongoing work of the Safe Schools Coalition.”
See “Celebrate a Victory Against Bullying” published by Equal Rights Washington:
Celebrate a Victory Against Bullying
Let’s hope the United States Congress follows suit….
On January 27th of this year, Colorado Democrat and Co-Chair of the House LGBT Equality Caucus Jared Polis, who is an openly Gay Congressmen, introduced H. R. 4530, the Student Non-Discrimination Act of 2010. There were 60 co-sponsors of the bill.
The following quote from Congressman Polis appears on his website:
“Every day innocent students fall victim to relentless harassment and discrimination from teachers, staff, and fellow students based on their sexual orientation,” said Polis. “These actions not only hurt our students and our schools but, left unchecked, can also lead to life-threatening violence. Like Title VI for minorities in the 60s and Title IX for women in the 70s, my legislation puts LGBT students on an equal footing with their peers, so they can attend school and get a quality education, free from fear.”
Polis, also a member of the House Education and Labor Committee, is a former chairman of the Colorado State Board of Education and has founded and served as the superintendent of charter schools serving at-risk student populations. He further states,
“Hatred has no place in the classroom. Every student has the right to an education free from harassment and violence. This bill will protect the individual freedoms of our students and enshrine the values of equality and opportunity in our classrooms.”
see: Congressman Jared Polis‘ website
also: 1-27_SNDA_Fact_Sheet and 1-27_SNDA_Bill_Text
To help this bill, contact your Congressmen and women and let them know it’s time to provide a safe learning environment for our youth, free from harassment, bullying and fear.
I look forward to reporting its passage. -MsQueer
Additional resources for this story: Julie Bolcer, The Advocate, March 8, 2010, and Ruth Schneider, 365Gay.com, March 9, 2010.
©2010 MsQueer.com. All rights reserved.
Stumble It!
Friday, March 12, 2010
'I wanna dance with somebody who loves me. . .'
High school student Constance McMillen, 18, simply wanted to go to the prom with the date of her choice and to wear the outfit of her choosing.
The only problem?
She wanted to take her girlfriend, Minerva, and she had hoped to wear a tux, too. McMillen approached Itawamba County Agricultural High School in Fulton, Mississippi to ensure that her plans were permissible, and school officials informed her that they would not be allowed to attend together. They were also warned that if they tried to slow dance together, they would be thrown out of the prom, as their presence might make other students feel uncomfortable.
Additionally, the school also released the following memo:
The ACLU is now involved, after sending the school board a letter claiming they were impeding on McMillen’s civil rights from barring her from the prom. In response, the school board has canceled the prom altogether. The ACLU has sued the school to allow the prom to continue. The story has gained considerable media coverage (USAToday, CNN, First Amendment Center), and a Facebook page has already been created in honor of McMillen’s cause.
School sponsored bullying
I don’t like bullying. I was bullied and it has had a lasting effect on me, and so when I see bullying in life, the workplace, or in the news, it tends to touch me deeply and wind me up. So I’m infuriated by the idiotic, criminal actions of a certain Mississippi school. If you don’t know what I’m ranting about you can read the shocking story here:
USA Today : Miss. prom cancelled after lesbian’s prom date request
BBC News : US School cancels prom ‘over lesbian date’
Please note a couple of things about those two stories; firstly the student’s name is not hidden, they have not been granted anonymity like the criminals mentioned in my previous posts, secondly the schools response is irrational and possibly criminal. Let us consider the options:
- The school could allow the prom to proceed with the student in question bringing whatever partner they like. Some parent’s may be offended, as may some pupils, but sicne sexual orientation is a personal choice I believe the realistic response is “do what you feel is right” don’t want to see it, then stay away.
- The school could allow the prom to proceed but ban the one student involved. This leaves the school open to being sued by every civil liberties group on the planet, and being lambasted in most world-wide media, but has little impact on those involved.
- The school could cancel the prom as publicly as possible, while avoiding stating that the ban is “the student’s fault for not being of an acceptable sexual orientation” whilst also not denouncing personal choice. This will produce much publicity, make the school and its associated county and state look archaic in the eyes of the world, whilst also alienating the student, publicizing their name and opening them up to a world of threats and bullying beyond the existing prejudices their sexual orientation opens them up to.
Why am I not surprised the school chose option #3. This is school sponsored bullying, making the student the target for every narrow minded student that thinks their prom night has been cancelled because of the student’s fault and not the schools narrow mindedness.
I think Constance McMillen has been brave to return to school, and Itawamba County Agricultural High School in Fulton owes her, and all students an apology for their mishandling of this situation. I can’t believe this kind of prejudice and stupidity exists in the modern world.
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