Could society evolve? I guess not. Although people tend to believe that we’re improving our habits and going somewhere, I don’t feel it, at all. I had the weirdest day. Then again, when you’re dealing with me, nothing is always a “normal” situation. And then again, my “normal” is your “weird”, and that’s how it seems to work in my world.
I’m a simple girl. A bit overly-extroverted and all over the place, and craving a lot, but simple, and taking everything as they come. And yet the weirdest things keep happening to me. (I guess it’s because I take everything as they come..) I woke up early, which is very unusual of me during spring break. I promised my brother the days before that I would attend the music festival he was performing in, and this was a promise I had to keep. I knew it meant the world to him, therefore, it meant as much to me, and today was the day I’d keep that promise. As soon as my sister and I were ready, we left. We left about 30 minutes earlier then we normally would, just to be sure we got to the place on time if not before, to be sure we’d be seated right before his class went on. It took us about an hour to get there (from the South Shore to Vanier College) and once we reached their, our initiative was to ask the security guard where the room A-250 was, and if it was clearly the room where the Mgr-A-Parent high-school was performing. He said it was, but to access this particular room, we had to make our way into the Auditorium. After giving us the directions, me and my sister quickly made our way there. We reached the place, went inside and took our seats, but before the band could begin to play, I scanned the whole set. “This is not my brother’s class”. Me and my sister instantly got up, a little pissed that we may have been fooled by the guard. We exited the auditorium and asked the students who were helping out if that was really room A-250. They told us no, and also included that the guard led us astray… and that the room where he was standing was the A-250 we were looking for. With no time to waste, me and my sister ran up the flight of stairs, four by four, until we reached the starting point. Standing there was the security guard, and damn did he piss me off. People rarely see me mad. In fact, people usually remember me as the bright one, the optimistic, the “funny person” of the group. If you make me mad though, you better watch yourself.. The security guard stood there, and after asking us if he could let us in, he quickly replied: “No, you’re late, you can’t get in.” We explained to him that we were here on time, even before the time, but when we asked him for the room he was guarding, he directed us to a different place. We told him calmly, but not wanting to accept his mistake, he kept repeating that we couldn’t go in. “Is it Mgr-A-Parent that is about to perform?” “Yes” “Well they are who we came here to see, could we go in?” “No” “But this is room A-250, right?” “Yes.” “Why did you tell us something else the first time we asked you? And we can’t go in?” “No.” “Why?” “You’re late” This frustrated me. We basically couldn’t watch my brother’s performance because we were “late” because this security guard didn’t know what he was doing. Of course, it was too early in the morning for me to take this in, and I was frustrated, very frustrated. First: because he didn’t want to admit he made a mistake, and correct it. And two: It looked like I was breaking a promise I made to my younger sibling, who was really looking forward to having us finally assist one of his shows. I repeated the whole scenario to him, trying to see if he could understand where I was coming from, why I wanted to get in. It would have been a different story if I was actually late… but I was not. He then called another security guard to talk to me, no longer knowing what to apply. Why couldn’t he just assume himself, be a fuckin’ man and correct his fault? Why did he have to be such a fuckin’ jerk? It could have been avoided.. The other security guard asked me what was going on. I explained. Everything. He didn’t understand. And he repeated the same thing as the other. And it frustrated me. I felt my blood pumping heavily into my veins, my breath seemed to grow louder, my heart was speeding up. How could people be so…stupid? What was so hard to comprehend? He gave me the wrong directions, causing me to be “late”. And he wouldn’t let me in. And I just wanted to see that one show. For 15 minutes. Or less. And that’s all. Nothing more. The guard told me to calm down. Calm down? So he’s pushing it. Telling me to calm down? I wanted him to listen. To understand. To make sense. Did he even listen to a word I said? “Calm down, madame. Calm down or else I’m going to call the cops.” “Call the cops? Do it! I don’t care! I’ll tell them what happened!” “I’m gonna call the cops!” “Then do it! I don’t care, I just don’t understand why I can’t see my brother perform!” “I understand how you feel, but I won’t let you in.” He understood how I felt? How I felt? What the fuck? Are you serious? He was trying to empathize with me? Are you fuckin’ serious? “You don’t understand how I feel! You’re here! You’re here and you’re not breaking a promise. You’re not the one who wants to go inside, and can’t ’cause you won’t cooperate. You could go in anytime you want and I’m here.” “Calm down lady, ’cause I’ll call the cops!” The cops again. Bring the cops, the whole patrol, the army for God’s sake. Do as you please. It doesn’t affect me. In fact, it’s pointless. I’m not threatening you or harming you. I’m not hurting anybody or disrupting the place. I’m just asking questions and not getting answers. And I want my fuckin’ answers. To top it off, he followed me as I went to take a seat and a breather, and placed his hand on me. He had to touch me. You can’t touch me when I’m mad. You just can’t, and he did. I shrugged, and moved myself away. “Don’t you dare touch me, and don’t you look at me like that, or talk to me. If you want me to calm down, leave me alone.” Frustrated, very frustrated. I didn’t understand how something so simple turned into such a big mess. Well, he let us in… when it was over. And as I stepped in that room for those 60 seconds, I saw the frown on my brothers face, and the glare he gave me meaning: “You promised.” And all I could say was: “I’m sorry.”
And this was only morning.
I thought homophobia was a dying trend. I guess not. And I didn’t know that having girl friends automatically made you gay. Apparently it does. Subway station. Subway train. I’m accompanying back one of my girl friends to her school before I set off on a different path. You know, just to be a good friend. We walk in, talking, as usual, like anybody else, walk inside the train and take a seat. We make ourselves comfortable, put down our heavy purses and as I turn to her side to continue our conversation, through my peripherals, I catch someone glaring. It’s an older man, probably in his 40s, messy and angry, glaring at me, then at my friend, then back at me again. Whenever I catch someone staring, I usually stare back to make them feel uncomfortable, and it usually works. Not this time. We crossed eyes and he wouldn’t look away, but neither would I. Finally, he asked why I was staring. And I asked the same of him. Without even hesitating he shot out “I’m not the one who’s a fuckin’ stupid lesbian! Fuckin’ lesbian!!” Excuse me? First off, where did that come from? Is it written gay all over my face? And next, why should it matter to you? It’s my life. I’m not making out in your face or doing anything a straight couple wouldn’t do.. and she’s a friend. A girl can’t have any friends? Well, it’s pointless fighting back. People don’t want to accept things they did not grow up with, and arguing won’t make things any better. In fact, it usually makes things worst. I smirked then laughed, and finally added: “Suite yourself, it’s your choice.” He was very angry. He banged on the Subway doors and even spat on the train floor, constantly glaring at me and saying heinous words.. People are so angry these days, and for no good reason.. It almost saddens me.
So that was my Thursday. I almost had the cops on my back and I was called a “stupid lesbian”. How was your Thursday?
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