Even before I acknowledged & accepted my propensity& affinity for women, I never imagined myself with a man in a long-term relationship. Sure we could date and I may let you hit it…but it was purely for my pleasure and satisfaction. We were not dating for long and we sure were not getting married.
As I mentioned a few posts back, my little girl dreams never included the marriage and family ideal that most little girls dreamed of. I have had my share of wedding proposals along with the ”let me share my life with you” mantras….all of which I have turned down. I never saw where a man fit into my life. I mean, what would be his purpose? I never needed a man to use as a cash machine, like a lot of women choose to do: I can pay my own light bill. I can pump my own gas in my own car. I can buy my own shoe collection. I can buy my own groceries. I can pay for my own hair and nails. I can pay for my own bling…You can keep your money dude-I got this. The older I got, the more I saw that men were not a necessity in my life. After all, the only things guys were good for were the proverbial good “dick”, killing bugs and the occasional task around the house.
Hold up…I see it coming…let me say it before you you do:
I DON’T HATE MEN…I AM NOT A MAN HATER.-It’s quite the contrary…I love men. There is nothing like a good-looking, strong & confident man with the gumption to handle his business. In all honesty, these characteristics in a man are very attractive to me but to be in a relationship with a man just doesn’t suit me. Here are two reasons why:
The Sex: To be blunt, the “dick” never did it for me. Don’t get me wrong, my sexual experiences with men were not bad, but they were at best mediocre. Not because of the man, but because of me. I’m fairly aggressive and somewhat controlling in the bedroom and those two traits don’t mix well with the male psyche. I wanted to control the “dick” and do with it what I pleased…put it on a leash somehow. I always wanted to be on top, always wanna do what I wanna do sexually: Don’t tell me to turn over…hell, you turn over. You slap my ass, then homeboy; I’m gonna slap your ass too….Of course that didn’t always go over well. All I can do is laugh at some of the dialogue that went on in the bedroom with dudes. I can remember one guy actually telling me that he just needed to lay there and let me do it….Good idea-Let’s try that.
The Relationship: Men are at best, big kids and I don’t care for that. I have a major issue with a grown man posted up on the sofa playing Xbox or watching football for hours on end surrounded by soda bottles and snack food. I don’t want to deal with 5 year olds, so dealing with a 35-year-old man with the traits of a 5-year-old is no better. I have always had personality clashes with guys I have dated-and being a female that is headstrong and a bit on the aggressive side doesn’t help with this situation. Despite what men say, they tend to prefer a woman with a little bit of submissiveness…I don’t have that. Remember this line from the movie Best Man: “A woman like that don’t need a man. She’s one step from lesbian.” …this must have been a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have always had and will continue to have great platonic relationships with guys…no drama & no stress. I guess it’s because of the way I am wired….who knows. Heck at this point, I really don’t care. I wouldn’t trade anything for the experiences I have had with men. As a matter of fact, I believe that my experiences with the “dick” help lay a great foundation for my acceptance of my sexuality….(it’s a strange theory I know, but that’s an entirely different post.)
I love the fella’s, but in the here and now, the girls work better for a chick like me.
Comical, but it’s my reality.
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